Attention, attention, may I have your attention please!

Thank you.

I am pleased heck with that - thrilled – to announce the redesign of my child care website!

Drumroll please…

Ta da!!

My most recent favorite designer, Jeff of Snowfyre.com, created it for me.

Not only is Jeff a talented designer with unbelievably reasonable prices, he’s an absolute saint! I can’t tell you how many versions he proposed only to have me respond with “just a couple i.e. a whole list of changes…” The poor man!

I felt so guilty every time I asked him to make a change, but when all was said and done he said he enjoyed working with me and would gladly work with me again. He’s either lying through his teeth, or really was a saint in a past life. In any case, I’ll definitely contact him the next time I need some graphic design done.

So, what do you think? Leave your comments below and I’ll pass them on to Jeff; I’m sure he’d love to hear them!

Last year I decided it was time to update the logo I’d been using for my child care business since I opened in 1998. It outdated and poor quality a scan of a stamped image and I was ready for something new.

Being a do-it-yourself kind of gal I started looking online for free graphics. After an exhausting search I finally found and fell in love with this apple:

But something kept bothering me about it. As much as I loved the connection with education an apple for Teacher and the heart in the middle, it just didn’t fit the name of my program: “Amy & Kids Co.”

When YOU look at the apple, do you think “Amy & Kids Co.”? How about “child care program”? No?

Me neither.

Since the name and logo didn’t match I briefly considered changing my program name to “Appleton Child Care.” It’s easy to remember and would be perfect for SEO, but my family shot me down.

“That’s too cold, and not friendly at all.”

“It sounds like an institution, not a family child care.”

“It’s too boring.”

“Why do you want to change? Your name is so cute.”

They had a point. Besides, I’ve already got 10 years of marketing sunk into “Amy & Kids Co.” so I’d have to start all over if I changed the name.

Well, if the name and logo don’t match, and the name isn’t going to change, the logo has to change.

It was time to call in a professional, so I contacted my favorite graphic designer: Jeff of Snowfyre.com.

Some of the graphics Jeff has designed for me are this folded label for Zany Zebra:

My ReUse ‘Ems logo: which I’ll get rolling one of these days…

And most recently, a new logo for Valley AEYC:

I like working with Jeff because he’s super-speedy and very affordable – under $100 for custom-designed logos and templates! But the best thing about Jeff is that he’s amazingly patient. No matter how many times I say “Could you add this…” or “That’s great except…” or “I’m wondering if you could…” he answers cheerfully and never gets snippy or impatient.

Since I always ask for a bunch of revisions I was a little worried that Jeff wouldn’t want to work with me again, but he graciously agreed to design a new logo for Amy & Kids Co., and within 24 hours sent me the first sample.

Numerous emails, several weeks, and six more samples later we had a winner:

What do you think?

I can’t wait to see how it looks on the new website!

Oops, I let the cat out of the bag… Jeff’s designing a new website template for me too. I’ll let you know as soon as it’s done!

When I think of dedicated servers I think of chocolate cake.

I know it sounds weird so let me explain…

Most internet users, including online business owners, don’t know what a “dedicated server” is, or why they might want to consider one for their online business. I didn’t either until recently.

What is a Dedicated Server?

A dedicated server is a web server “computer on the Internet that hosts websites, serving pages to viewers upon request.” – WiseGeek.com that is dedicated “given over to a particular purpose” – Mirriam-Webster.com to one person or business.

Why Consider a Dedicated Server?

A public server is only so big and has to be shared with hundreds, if not thousands, of other websites. Because the server is shared among so many other people the choices and space you’re allowed may be limited, but if you’ve got a dedicated server you’re only limited by the server itself.

Didn’t you say Chocolate Cake?

Oooh, yeah, chocolate cake!

To make this easier to understand, pretend your server is a ginormous chocolate cake. With fudge ganache filling. Mmmm!

Now pretend you’ve got to share that cake with a bunch of other websites.

You’ll have limits in the choices you’re allowed to make Chocolate or vanilla frosting? Sprinkles? Ice cream? and the size of the piece you can have. You’ll also need to worry about what everyone else is doing – if someone sneezes on their piece of cake yours could be contaminated too.

Eeeew!

Now pretend you’ve got that whole chocolate cake to yourself.

You can make all the rules! Chocolate frosting, sprinkles, ice cream, maraschino cherries and whipped cream; I want it all!

You’re only limited by what the cake or server can handle. You won’t have to share it unless you want to and you won’t have to worry about someone else coming along and messing it up with their boogers.

It’s yours, yours, all yours!

Do I Need a Dedicated Server?

Only YOU know if you need a dedicated server or not, but here are some things to think about…

• Is your website bogging down because the server can’t keep up with your traffic?
• Do you have a lot of photos or files and are running out of disk space?
• Are you a control freak who wants to have exclusive control of your server?
• Would you like an added level of security protecting your website?
• Do you want access to as much bandwidth as you need without sharing with other websites?
• Would you like to add a forum or shopping cart database to your website?
• Are you planning for your business to grow?

If you answered “Yes!” to any of these questions you might want to consider a dedicated server. The great thing is that if you don’t have one now you’re not behind in the game; it’s never to late to switch to a dedicated server.

And while you’re thinking about it, have another piece of chocolate cake.

Pass one this way too, please. Mmmmmm!

One of the challenges of running an online business in addition to working a “9 to 5″ job is finding time to market your business around daytime work hours. Currently Facebook and Twitter are two of the hottest ways to market, but how can you promote your online business when you’re at work all day?

I struggled with this when I first opened my online business and had only two accounts to juggle, and over the past couple of years my collection has grown to include:

• My Happy Crazy Life’s Facebook page and Twitter account
• Zany Zebra’s Facebook page and Twitter account
• Lily Pad Landing’s Facebook page and Twitter account
• Valley AEYC’s Facebook page
• FVL Middle School Band’s Facebook page

Yes, I’m linking to them shamelessly in the hopes that you’ll all Friend, Follow, or Like them for me. I’ll Friend, Follow and/or Like you back – cross my heart!

I never would have found enough time to update all of these accounts individually and still keep up with everything else I need to do; even copying and pasting from account to account would take forever. Trust me, I know.

Luckily my friend, Michelle Shaeffer, came to the rescue! She told me about her secret weapons: HootSuite and TweetDeck; two applications that can post updates via Twitter and Facebook even when you’re at work, on vacation, or sound asleep! You do make time to sleep, right?

Over the past few years I’ve used both HootSuite and TweetDeck for scheduling updates and sending multiple Twitter and Facebook updates at once. In addition to Twitter and Facebook both HootSuite and TweetDeck support other social networks like LinkedIn, GoogleBuzz, and MySpace, but I don’t use any of those so I can’t say how well they work together. If you use HootSuite or TweetDeck with other social networks let me know how they work – inquiring minds want to know!

Here’s a quick run-down of my thoughts regarding HootSuite and TweetDeck…

HootSuite is web-based, so it’s perfect for people who work on more than one computer – like my friend Michelle – but the reason I started using it is because the HootSuite owl is much cuter than the TweetDeck bird. Shallow reason, but true. In addition to the cute owl I really like the Hootlet for Firefox or Hootlet for Chrome that makes sharing super-easy. If you want to share a link, just click the Hootlet owl and he’ll shorten the URL of the page you’re on and grab some text,so you can update your social networks without leaving the page you’re browsing. Pretty cool, huh?! The problem is that not only are the owl and Hootlet my two favorite HootSuite features, they’re also the only ones I like better than what TweetDeck offers. HootSuite is set up in tabs, which I’m not thrilled with because I prefer to have everything in front of me all at once. Also, since they limited the number of accounts in the free version I had to delete some of my accounts which kind of ruins the whole purpose of using HootSuite to manage numerous social network accounts.

TweetDeck is usually my weapon of choice, even if the bird isn’t as cute as the owl. I love the large window with columns because I can just scroll back and forth to see the information I want. You can also narrow the columns to fit more of them in the window, and rearrange them however you like. Unlike HootSuite where you have a separate tab for each account, in TweetDeck you can have columns from different accounts next to each other so you can see what you want to see in one glance. Back to being shallow; I also like TweetDeck’s sleek black design – it feels cool, like when you’re wearing your favorite sunglasses.

So which should you use?

I can’t say- it really comes down to personal preference. Both applications will let you schedule updates ahead of time so you can look like you’re online when you’re really lying by the pool eating bon-bons and catching some rays. We don’t really have a pool, but I like to pretend we do.

More realistically, you can promote your online business via scheduled updates even when you’re not online. Both allow you to update more than one social network account at once so you can reach multiple groups of people with just one post.

In addition to scheduled updates and multiple account management, both applications offer URL shortening, Twitter list management, spam blocking, searches, keyword tracking, etc, etc, etc. Check out Evolutionary Designs’ in-depth comparison for all the nitty-gritty details.

Personally I think the best way to make a decision is to use each of them for a while to see which fits you better. They’re both free so you’ve got nothing to lose, right? Then come back and let us know which one you like better, and why!

Now go out there and schedule some tweets so you can be a phantom Facebooker too!

Go ahead, I won’t be upset.

About two years ago my Toshiba laptop bit the dust. I freaked out, worrying that all of our family photos since 1998 had been lost. Stupidly I hadn’t printed all of them, uploaded them to Flickr, made back-ups, or any of the other sensible things I should have done.

Fortunately the hard drive wasn’t damaged so Teacher was able to recover most of the data from it. Several months of photos were still missing, including Princess’s high school graduation and Angel Face’s confirmation and eighth grade graduation, but we had the vast majority of them. Recently I was whining about the lost photos, so Teacher went into the Toshiba’s hard drive again and found the missing photos – my man rocks!

Shortly after the Toshiba died Teacher and I looked into different back-up options. We couldn’t decide what type would work best, and before long other things took precedence and we forgot all about back-up.

Then disaster hit.

On New Year’s Day my “new” Dell laptop crashed, and crashed hard. At first I was more annoyed than worried. I figured that at worst we’d get a new hard drive drive, pop the old one into the external drive Teacher had bought when the Toshiba died, and I’d be back in business.

I was so wrong.

Teacher bought a new hard drive, but when he tried to access the Dell’s hard drive there was nothing there.

Nada.

Zero.

Zippo.

Zilcho.

Two years’ worth of everything that was important enough to keep – gone.

At first I refused to worry; I put myself into Avoidance and Denial Mode. I wouldn’t let myself think about what was locked in that hard drive like Peanut’s entire lifetime’s worth of photos and kept myself frantically busy so I wouldn’t have time to think.

Teacher worked incredibly hard to crack into the hard drive. He spent countless hours searching online for solutions, downloading programs, doing everything except standing on his head. Which I’m sure he would have done if he thought it would help.

Finally he was afraid to try anything else because he didn’t want to damage the drive.

Cowboy offered to take the drive to The Geek Squad at Best Buy. Cowboy’s been a bouncer greeter at Best Buy for a while, but aspires to become part of the Geek Squad in the near future. He told us that as long as the drive wasn’t physically damaged The Geek Squad could get something off of it.

Carefully I wrapped my hard drive – and the past two years of my life – in a plastic bag and handed it over to Cowboy. Then I began a campaign to keep busy so I wouldn’t worry.

It wasn’t easy; I couldn’t blog because the photos I wanted to include were gone. I couldn’t update my sites, stock my boutiques, look up lesson plan ideas. Everything I tried to do required something that had been there before, but wasn’t anymore.

Several days passed and I held out hope.

But then Cowboy brought the drive back with bad news: The Geek Squad said it had overheated and they couldn’t do anything with it.

Two years of my life just disappeared; one day they were at my fingertips, the next they were gone.

I felt numb and like puking at the same time; a really weird combination.

Why didn’t I make back-ups? Why didn’t I burn those DVDs?

I wanted to crawl into a hole and never come out.

Why was I so stupid? Why didn’t I learn the first time?

I wanted to wake up and find out it was just a bad dream.

Why, why, why?

I thought I was handling it well, but when I was alone with my thoughts I lost it. I wrapped my arms around myself and sobbed. Most of the documents were replaceable, but the photos – losing our family photos broke my heart.

After a little while I pulled myself together. I consider myself an emotional person but I’m not prone to tears, drama or emotional displays; I’ve always prided myself on the ability to hide negative emotions behind a calm, dignified facade.

I figuratively kicked myself in the behind put on my big girl panties and gave myself a stern talking to.

“Get over it. They’re only pictures; it’s not like the house was hit by a tornado or a freak winter flood. No-one died, no-one is sick. They’re only pictures; we still have the memories. People lived happily their entire lives before cameras invented. Stop being a baby and get on with life.”

I didn’t feel better immediately, but from that point on whenever I started to feel sorry for myself I gave myself another mental kick in the butt and repeated my mantra: “They’re only pictures; the memories are still there. They’re only pictures; the memories are still there.”

Eventually I started coming to terms with the loss. They’re just pictures, after all. I copied everything from the Toshiba’s hard drive onto my new computer and started recreating the more important documents. Every day the new computer feels less like a stranger and more like home.

Now we just need to set up a back-up system, and with my track record the sooner the better!

Have you ever suffered a similar tragedy with your computer? How did you handle it?

The following is a recounting of actual events as they unfolded. The names, locations and events have not been changed. This is the real thing.

Friday, 2:00 pm.
All the children were sleeping and Princess wasn’t back from school yet so I decided it was a good time to upgrade to WordPress 3.0.1.

I’d been putting it off because several years ago I tried the automatic upgrade and messed up my blog. Ever since then I’ve been terrified each time I’ve had to upgrade.

Friday, 2:07 pm.
I took the extra time to make and download a backup. Since I know my hosting company, Host Creo, does automatic backups I don’t always do one before working on the blog. Fortunately this time I did; if I hadn’t there might not be anything for you to read right now.

Friday, 2:15 pm.
With the most recent version of WordPress downloaded to my desktop, I started following the step-by-step directions on the Upgrading WordPress page.

The first thing I did was download the older version of wp-admin to my desktop – just in case – before uploading the new version. That upload went so smoothly I forgot to download the older version of wp-includes before uploading the new version. That upload didn’t seem to go as smoothly so I refreshed my blog to make sure everything was OK.

To my horror all I saw was a white page with an error message across the top!

My heart started to pound and my mouth grew dry as I stared at the blank page. Suddenly I remembered the sweepstakes I’d posted earlier that week and my stomach dropped – WHY did I think this was a good time to upgrade?

I didn’t quite panic because I knew I had an “ace in the hole” – Michelle Schaeffer.

But I had to contact Michelle and get my blog back ASAP! Frantically I considered which option would reach her quickest: email, support ticket, Facebook, or Twitter. Even though she wasn’t currently tweeting I decided to Direct Message her through Twitter.

Friday, 2:29 pm.
HappyCrazyLife: OMG HELP! I was update my blog and broke it! I did a backup and am trying to upload it but it’s just loading and loading and loading…

I told her what the error message said.

Friday, 2:38 pm.
MichelleScheffr: That error usually means not all the files got uploaded or there’s something missing from wp-config.php Which version WP…

MichelleShaeffr: do you have and which one did you upgrade to? were they both 3.0?

Michelle took a peek at whatever it is she peeks at and discovered the problem: I was at 130% disk space usage. Oops!

Friday, 2:41 pm.
HappyCrazyLife: Next time I’m going to beg, borrow or steal to have you upgrade for me – I can’t take this stress!

It’s true; I can handle poop and puke and blood without breaking a sweat but I turn into a complete basket case when I break one of my websites.

Friday, 2:43 pm.
MichelleShaeffr: Hey I PROMISE (really) in 3.0 it’s easier. And so long as there’s enough space it should go simpler.

Michelle gave me more disk space, then offered to do a restore for me. Since I was worried that I’d lose the most recent sweepstakes blog comments, she offered to upload my backup instead.

In the meantime the children woke up from their naps, needing diaper changes and snack. When I was able to find a moment I tried to email my backup file to Michelle.

Unfortunately, the right-click on my laptop doesn’t work so I couldn’t zip the file. After two failed attempts to attach the 101 MB file to email messages I admitted defeat.

Friday, 3:41 pm
HappyCrazyLife: Here’s the problem – my right-click doesn’t work so I can’t zip the file, it’s too big for email. Can you get the backup from my cpanel?

MichelleShaeffr: Yep should be able to– will try

Things got busy with daycare children leaving, my family coming home, supper plans, etc, so I had to leave my blog in Michelle’s capable hands for a couple of hours.

Friday, 5:01
MichelleShaeffr: All better now? Do you want some help upgrading?

HappyCrazyLife: Hooray, it’s back! I’d offer you my first-born but he’s 22 and you don’t want him, LOL!

Sorry College Boy; all I can say is that I was delirious with relief that my blog was fixed and I didn’t lose anything. Besides, I was pretty sure she wouldn’t take me up on the offer.

HappyCrazyLife: Yes, I’d love some help upgrading, pretty please! (batting eyelashes)

By this time all the daycare children had gone home. Both Michelle and I had Date Night plans but she promised to do the upgrade as soon as she could. By time I checked Saturday morning my blog had been upgraded to WordPress 3.0.1.

Words cannot express how grateful I am for Michelle!

I’ve worked with Michell for over five years and this is the sort of experience I’ve had every time I’ve contacted her. She always responds promptly and goes above and beyond the call of duty without hesitation.

She’s also been eager to help with more than hosting and broken-blog problems too Whenever I’ve struggled with a css or html problem she’s taken time to look at my code and find the errors.

Michelle’s hosting company, Host Creo, isn’t like the big companies either – it definitely offers a personal touch. One time Teacher didn’t get the email notifications that his blog domain was up for renewal. When he didn’t renew it Michelle emailed me to see if he still wanted it or not. Another time the check we sent for Valley AEYC’s hosting didn’t get to her but she kept the site up until we could send a new one. You don’t get that kind of service from GoDaddy!

Obviously I can’t speak highly enough about Michelle, or recommend her company too strongly. If you’re going to register or transfer a domain, need for website hosting or want to start your own website, check out Host Creo. I promise you won’t be sorry!

Not to mention that she homeschools her kids, has a cool nose ring, and is cute as a button.

Put it all together, and that’s why I love Michelle Shaeffer.

A while back I promised to play with this adorable photo of flower girl Peanut in the Time Machine of my Paint Shop Pro program. I’m a lover of all things historical and hysterical, but we’re not talking about that right now, so I love seeing what photos would look like if they were taken in another era.

I’ve included some screenshots but this really isn’t a detailed tutorial, just a record of what I did to encourage you to play with your photos in your photo editing program.

First I opened the photo in Paint Shop Pro. Then in the upper toolbar I clicked on Effects, and Photo Effects.

Next I clicked Time Machine to open the Time Machine window. Time to start playing!

I started out with the oldest effect available: daguerreotype. According to time machine, daguerreotype was used from 1839 to 1835. Images were created directly on a thin sheet of silver-plated copper, without a negative, so no copies could be reproduced. I’m geeky enough to think that’s really cool, but I’m not enough of a history geek to give up my digital!

The Albumen method was popular from 1855 to the 1890s. Negatives were captured on glass, then transferred to paper that used albumen from egg whites to bind the light sensitive chemicals to the paper. Yes, I quoted most of that right from Time Machine. I wonder what they did with all those egg yolks – egg yolk omelets maybe?

I really don’t like this one – Cyanotype. They used ultraviolet light to convert the light-sensitive chemicals to Prussian Blue. It was invented in the 1840s and used until the early 1900s – I guess you could call it America’s “Blue Period” – hee-hee! Sorry, I just can’t help it! Maybe I need a better joke writer besides me, myself and I… or therapy… or both

Platinum was used from the late 1870s to around 1920. Why I feel the need to tell you all this I don’t know. I guess I just find it fascinating. Besides, you can take the girl out of the classroom but you can’t keep her from writing reports. I know we’ve got some photos of relatives from “way back when” on platinum somewhere. According to Time Machine, the paper came into direct contact with the negative and platinum-based developing materials were used, which produced high-quality – but expensive – photos.

Isn’t this fun?! This is just in Time Machine, I haven’t even touched Films and Filters or anything else yet.

Autochrome was one of the first color photography methods, first used in the early 1900s. I’ll bet you’ll never guess what they used to create the colors! Go on – guess!

Potato starch, dyed blue, green and red! Didja get it right? I didn’t – I never would’a guessed potato starch in a million-bazillion years.

I really like this one because the colors are so muted and delicate. I don’t know if our “family archives” have any autochrome photos, but now I’m curious to find out.

Now we’re getting into almost-modern photography with box cameras that were used from the early 1900s until about the ’60s. Since they were relatively small and portable they made it possible for anyone to take photos. I wonder if professional photographers of the time worried their profession would die out?

Cross Process is a modern technique that mismatches film and processing chemicals to produce unique color effects. For instance, developing slide film in color negative chemicals. I’ll bet that’s a lot of fun to play with since you won’t know exactly how the photo is going to turn out. One of the things I love best about dye-ing fabric is never knowing exactly how it’s going to look when it’s all done.

Finally, just for fun I had to click on the little “Randomize Parameters” dice, and this is what popped up! I tried it a dozen times after but nothing else fun came of it so I guess I should’ve stopped after the first roll. Note to self if I ever go to Vegas and the slots pay out the first time – stop there!

If I went back in time I’d want all my photos done with the Autochrome technique.

What technique would you want used on your photos?

The other day I asked all of you smart people to tell me which social media icon set you think best fit the new blog design.

After careful consideration the winner is #4; Hand Drawn Social Media Icons by Noop! There are many reasons why Noop won, but I think Emily summed it up best when she wrote “I’m going with No. 4 because I think they go best with your banner.” I couldn’t agree more Emily!

Thank you to everyone who shared their opinions through email or leaving a comment on the blog! Thank you to Jurgen for pointing out the incorrect link to his site; he did the work he deserves the credit! But hey, why the serious face? Lighten up a bit and show off those pearly whites.

Keep an eye on the sidebar for the new icons to show up in the near future. I’ve got another idea for the sidebar rattling around in my brain, but I have to figure out how to do it yet. I’ll share more when I know what I’m doing – assuming that’ll happen someday…

Until I have the sidebar set you can find and follow MHCL here: www.facebook.com/MyHappyCrazyLife and https://twitter.com/HappyCrazyLife.

Thanks for being part of my life!

I’m in a conundrum and could really use your help!

The other day I saw some really cool Facebook and Twitter icons and thought “Oh wow, those are cool! I should add those to my blog!”

Of course, I couldn’t leave it at that – oh no, that would be too easy. I always needs to explore all the options before making a decision, which drives Teacher crazy.

Even worse, I sometimes often have a hard time making a decision, which drives Teacher absolutely bonkers. You should see me at a restaurant trying to decide what to order. I usually end up getting a combo plate because I couldn’t decide. On second thought, no-one should be subjected to my level of indecisiveness.

So, instead of taking the easy also smart and logical route, and going with the first set of icons I liked I decided to see what else was out there. Of course there were a ton and now I can’t decide which go best with the current blog design.

You’re very smart and have extremely good taste so I’m asking for your help. Post below or through my contact page to vote for the icon set that YOU think goes best with MHCL. If you help me make this decision I will be forever grateful – and so will Teacher because he won’t have to listen to me change my mind a gazillion times!

The icons I’d most likely be using are Facebook, Twitter, Flickr, StumbleUpon, and maybe the RSS one, so those are the ones to base your decision on.

Here are the contenders, in no particular order:

1. Page Peel by Productive Dreams. These are the cool icons that started this whole ball rolling. I love the 3D look, but is it right for MHCL? That’s what I can’t decide.

2. Social Network Icons from IconExpo. These have a colored pencil look which appeals to my inner child. And my outer child – I may look like a grown-up but I don’t always act like one!

3. More Social Network Icons from IconExpo. These are also by Icon Expo but look like they were drawn with pen instead of colored pencil.

4. Hand-Drawn Social Media Icons by Noop.NL. What can I say, I love the hand-drawn look! I’m not thrilled with the Twitter bird, but that could just be my bird phobia. That’s a story for another day, but I have to say it’s all Hitchcock’s fault.

5. Social Media Icons by plechi. Another hand-drawn look with bright colors. Note: If you vote for these please also vote for the upper or lower set. Decisions, decisions, decisions… see why I need your help?

6. White Magic by Cheth Studios. These will obviously fit right in with the white theme, but I’m not sure they’ve got the right feel… what do you think?

So there you have it, six choices to choose from. Which do YOU fits MHCL and why? Let me know what you’re thinking, and help me make this decision – please?

I can’t wait to hear what you think!

I don’t look at my stats anywhere near as often as I should because no matter how many comments there are it always seems to me like I’m talking to just a few people. That means I don’t check referring URLs – the Google searches that lead people to me – and end up missing a whole lot of fun. Yes, I’m geeky enough to think that checking stats is fun.

When I do remember to check stats I begin by seeing what days and hours have the most traffic. I’m guessing that the 6:00 am traffic surge is due to RSS feeds; not because you woke up, threw back the covers and jumped out of bed to see what’s new on the blog. If I’m wrong and you did wake up, throw back the covers and jump out of bed to see what’s new, you’ve won my heart forever. My attempt to jump out of bed at 6:00 would land me in a pile of hurt on the floor. Mornings don’t like me much. The feeling is mutual.

Next I look at what countries visitors to the site are from. Lately it’s been the USA, UK, Canada, Hong Kong, and Thailand, to name a few. I wonder if Jim or some of his friends are checking out family life in the USA. I hope he tells them that not every American family is as crazy as ours.

Finally, I check out what phrases people are looking for when they stumble upon my little piece of the internet. This is where things get interesting.

The list of Google searches can be funny, fascinating, or frightening, but are always entertaining. Most of the time I have no idea why Google sends these poor unsuspecting souls my way. I wonder what they think when the end up here after searching for “pork belly recipes” or some other totally irrelevant phrase.

Here’s a small sampling of honest-to-goodness search phrases, taken at random from MHCL’s stats: No “pork belly recipes” though; I made it up.

“Cat Peeing Near Mouse Droppings”
True search: someone on the internet searched for this phrase and was sent here. I’m dying to know the full story, aren’t you? If this is your search you’ve got to email us the full story immediately; inquiring minds want to know!

“Licking Tongue”
Another one that’s got to have a story behind it. Licking what tongue? Licking whose tongue? Could you lick your own tongue? Someone else’s tongue? That’s disturbing… Some people eat tongue, I suppose you could lick it before digging in. So many questions and no answers.

“Welcome to Happy Crazy Life What is She Worth”
Wait – she who? She me? Am I for sale? Why didn’t anyone tell me? I would’ve sucked in my abs! No one tells me anything.

“Crazy Croutons”
Well, this is embarrassing. I did make some crazy croutons – not on purpose, but crazy nonetheless.

Kids – do not try this at home.

Can you Give Infants Warm Gelatin?
My mom used to feed us warm Jell-O when we had the stomach flu. There’s nothing like throwing up red Jell-O to turn you off gelatin forever. I wouldn’t recommended giving warm gelatin to anyone, much less infants. Now I’m feeling nauseous…

Are Elephant Decorations Demonic
I have no idea. What do y’all think?

My Life is Crazy
Honey, you are so preaching to the choir.